The gravity hit me, right there in my kitchen...

...making dinner for the family on a typical, somewhat boring (if I am being honest) Monday afternoon.

I happened to see a picture of Francis on Facebook. It was posted from an organization that does a lot of awesome work in the orphanage he is at. 

They have no idea who I am. 

They have no idea how much that picture means to someone half way across this world.

They have no idea that WE are working very hard to make this little one an orphan no more.

They have no idea...

And I was happy.

Happy to see a very recent picture of him.

Happy to see his sweet, sweet smile.

And off to dinner making I go.

And right there, somewhere in-between boiling the rice and sauteeing the veggies, something hit me inside.

I get to go to Ghana in March to meet them.

And I am oh, so very excited to see them face to face.

To hug them ever so tightly.

To show them the love that is already building up inside of me.

But, 

I will have to leave them.

I will have to leave two little boys that my heart has begun to call my own.

How will I ever be able to say goodbye...right after I finally get to say hello? 

I put my head in my hands and have a really good cry...trying to keep this moment to myself.

And then I finish dinner because two little kiddos playing in the living room need me today.

And for all of it, I am grateful.

"But you, oh Lord, do not be far off! Oh you my help, come quickly to my aid." ~Psalm 22:19

It just got REAL real...

And I can breathe now...

Sending a wire to someone doesn't sound like a very big deal right?

Well, try sending $10,000.00 overseas and then tell me how you feel.

That is what I did this past Friday.

Notepad in hand.

A quick drive to my bank.

And there I was, sitting across the desk from a sweet, blonde haired branch manager asking me, "You sure you want to send these funds? I mean, you feel comfortable sending this to Africa? You hear of scams out there..."

I, knots in my stomach, as well as a little shaky....

"Yes, I am comfortable sending the funds. Well, I mean, it is 10 grand and that makes me a little nervous regardless. The only time I dealt with funds like this was the purchase of a home, so this is just a wee bit (ok, a LOT bit) outside of my comfort zone."

"But, I do know people who know this man (our Power of Attorney /POA) as well as have used him personally. So, while it might be crazy for some, it isn't for me."

She enters all of the information into the system and then asks me to review it.

I do so ever so carefully.

She pushes the button for the 30 minute right of recision and lets me know more than once that I have 30 minutes to stop the wire.

"I get it."

And I leave...trying to take my mind off it, but knowing I could not until I knew the funds had been received. It would take at least one full business day.

I emailed our POA today to check in. He was just about to email me when he got my email.

WIRE RECEIVED!!!

And in my head I know that THIS is the REAL beginning of things. 

THIS is what tells the directors at the orphanages as well as our POA that we mean business. 

THIS is what gets the ball pushing forward - for REAL.

THIS is what allows the social welfare report to officially begin so our boys can be deemed orphans.

And THIS is what will eventually allow them to come home to us.

And just like that - it just got REAL real.

How do you say NO when you KNOW?

2 years.

It was going on 2 years that we have been waiting for a referral.

A LONG 2 years.

Your mind begins to wonder...IF the Lord put this burden on my heart (our hearts), why does He make us wait so long? When there ARE so many orphans in this world, WHY does it take so long for us to adopt just one? And the questions are endless honestly...

Beginning of October 2014.

I began to start researching other viable adoption alternatives. Scott and I both felt drawn to international adoption, but there weren't many options. After reaching out to multiple friends and friends of friends, I came to the conclusion that the Special Needs China Program was the only 'active' program out there. Could the Lord have something different in mind for us? This was not how I pictured it in my mind...

You see, when this in your heart, you begin to picture a certain little someone running around your home. My "little" person, our "little" person, was a little African boy. That picture in my mind has always been there for me.

But...was I wrong there? Could I be???

In a short time, I felt the Lord softening my heart to all orphans, not just orphans in Africa. I began to picture an Asian child in our home and I was OK with that. Actually, I was more than ok with that. Who was I to be so close-minded to where this child came from even if I had a "picture" in my mind???

But.

No sooner did I become ok with that very possibility, something inside of me said to not give up. Not just yet.

Anita, the woman we had been working with to adopt from Ghana for the last 2 years, had told us that it would be a good idea to start looking at other options. As difficult as that was to hear, I appreciate the honesty. Africa is difficult. It's a third world country. There was a "ban" put on adoptions in Ghana. The road was no doubt getting more narrow every day. And so, that is what I did - started looking at options. 

Not quite sure what has happened with Anita (do not want to go into much written thought here). In my heart, I believe her to be a woman with a good heart too. Maybe life just got the best of her as I know she has a lot on her plate, but communication began to dwindle...

So, I did the only thing I could do and that was reach out to the few people I had met in this "Ghana" circle. The world of Facebook was definitely my friend during this time.

Beginning of November 2014.

I messaged Laura, another family that adopted from Ghana and was also working with Anita. She was so sweet, so helpful. She called me and we talked for quite a while. She gave me her honest opinion about things and in the end said she believed it would be possible to adopt from Ghana, but not easy. She gave me a couple references of people to reach out to for additional feedback.

My message to these individuals was the same - which ultimately was this question..."If you were me, knowing what has happened or lack thereof the past 2 years, would you continue or close this door in Ghana?" I wanted people to be real. No sugar coating. Period.

And then Laura said she might know of a boy that fits our age range at GMI (the orphanage her children were at). She was going to check and see if Francis, who was 3 years old, (yes, the name of this little boy) was adoptable. She checked...he WAS.

At the same time, I messaged Elvis (Director at an orphanage, CHOH) to see how he was doing and to find out if I could get an update on Jojo. Jojo was a 3 year old boy we heard about over the summer from Anita. It is all a little grey, but Anita told us about him and then quickly said she needed to present him to another family that was before us in the process. I followed up a couple times and she said that they were waiting for the social welfare report that may or may never happen and that I should try not to think about him as a possibility to adopt.

Well, I tried...

Elvis said Jojo was doing well and that he still did not have a match for him. I was surprised by this reply to say the least. I asked if there were any medical concerns and if we were interested in adopting him, if that would be possible. Elvis replied, "No medical concerns and yes, it is possible for you to adopt him."

.....back to networking...

I messaged Romana and I messaged Pia. Pia also called me and we talked for over an hour on a Saturday morning. She was so easy to talk to and so very instrumental to my situation. A breath of fresh air in all of my craziness. At the time we spoke, she was working on getting her boys home. A lot of ups and probably more downs than she would care to remember, but she had a really good POA (power of attorney), Bernard, and she knew it would happen - just not sure when it would be finalized. She told me to message Romana again and tell her my situation. This time Romana messaged me back. Said for us to wait 2 years is a very long time. I told her about Francis and asked if she could help me there. She said she could not, but told me to reach out to Bernard for assistance, to tell him she sent me to him.

I messaged Bernard and quickly he replied to email him specifics to his personal email address. I asked if he could check on Francis and he did. John, the orphanage director there, said another family was interested and he wanted to give them a week to make a decision.

So we waited. 

One would think we would be getting used to waiting, but nope...don't think one ever gets used to waiting. Not me anyways. Not ever. That's another blog post between me & God one day... ;)

And we prayed. 

Asking God to open AND close doors. 

At present it appears there are 2 possible little boys in need of forever homes.

Mid-November 2014.

A week passed and Bernard got word that the other family wanted to move forward with Francis. Francis was no longer an option.

Hearing that struck a chord inside of me. Scott knew it. And while I think it hurt him too, he stayed strong for me. He reminded me that we asked God to open AND close doors. "But what if He closes ALL the doors?" I asked as I began to cry. Scott just hugged me and said he didn't know.

I emailed Bernard about Jojo. Jojo is at a different orphanage and a completely different region than where Bernard resides. Could he help us with Jojo? 

He said he would.

Elvis happened to be in the states and we reached out to him of our intentions. He wanted to ask the extended family for permission. Said this is how he likes to do things. Bernard said it would make sense to wait to proceed until Elvis returned to Ghana. He also needed a social worker to assist him. I was able to confirm with Elvis that he had a social worker and got Jojo's real name to start on the dossier paperwork. His real name is Desmond. :)

SIDE BAR: I messaged Romana again to inquire on her personal story and what lead her to Ghana. She told me we can meet up & talk when I come to Ghana. Hmmmm....did she know something before we did??? ;)

Beginning of December 2014.

In the middle of all of this I realize our home study is going to expire mid-January, so I reach out to our social worker to begin the process of updating. We don't have a lot of time, so we had to go to Jefferson City to get our fingerprints done. Called doctor offices for medical updates. Copies of statements, insurance, financials, etc. Updated reference letters. More background checks. I think that is close to covering it...geezzzzz! Rebecca is scheduled to have a baby at the end of the month so we purposely schedule the home visit in early December. She goes into labor that same morning. Happy for her, but sad for us. And there goes another delay. 

See any patterns here???

Elvis' assistant goes to the village Jojo is from and is unable to track down a family member. So, we wait some more.

I continue to work on the dossier paperwork. Which is similar to home study paperwork, but on steroids. ;) At least it keeps my mind distracted in a productive way. My husband is beginning to not like that word any longer...'productive'. 

Rebecca gets back with us to reschedule the home visit. She is willing to work with us to get it updated on time. To say I was thankful would be an understatement.

Home study visit finally gets scheduled for December 30th.

Scott has a conversation with Elvis. Elvis informs Scott that one of his assistants went back to the village that Jojo is from and was able to find an uncle. The uncle gave the OK to proceed with adoption. 

Wow...we got the OK. 

The process all of a sudden seemed so much more REAL.

The gathering of dossier documents seemed to have PURPOSE now.

It was official. 

We were going to fight for Jojo.

While I was anxious to complete the paperwork, I also knew Elvis was in the states until the end of the year. So, nothing was really going to happen until he returned. My goal was to get the dossier completed and sent by year end.

One word to describe FINALLY moving forward in our adoption journey?

Surreal.

Mid-December 2014.

We were out of town for a family wedding in Jefferson City. It couldn't have been more perfect timing because we had to go to Jeff City to get our fingerprints updated too. Nothing like killing two birds with one stone. ;)

A random email comes thru to me from Bernard.

Have I mentioned what a God-send this man has been to us? I call him our angel sent directly from Heaven. We needed someone to help us, someone on our side, someone in Ghana. This man was referred to us and without knowing us from Adam (literally), offered his services to us. And to date, has not charged us one penny! How is that even possible??? Pia has said this statement more than once, "Bernard is worth his weight in gold." 

I concur!

...back to the email.

"Hi Georgia. I met with John of GMI today. He says Francis is available if you are still interested in adopting him. I told him I would contact you and get back to him. What is your take in this?"

So. Much. To. Process. In. This. One. Short. Email.

I share the email with Scott. Tell him I didn't want to discuss just yet. Just to digest the info and we can talk more after a day or so.

Laying in bed, Scott and I spoke at depth. 

The Lord burdened our hearts for the orphan. 

3 days later I email Bernard back saying...

"Getting the news of 2 boys at the same time is a lot to process, but at the end of the day, we cannot say no to either of them." And asked Bernard if he would be able to help with both boys.

And this is one more reason I believe Bernard to be an angel on earth. His reply...

"The joy to see these wonderful children have a permanent family is worth to do whatever to see them happy."

My cup runneth over.

And just like that we are fighting for two boys.

Two boys.

Half way around this world.

Separate orphanages.

Different regions.

And neither one of them have any idea we are already...

praying daily, 

willing to fight with everything we got,

and falling in love with them. 

Already.

We were prepared financially to adopt one. With the funds we saved personally along with the funds we raised from various fund raisers (now almost 2 years ago). But 2 - this way - it is 2 separate adoptions. Double the costs.

But.

But, we serve a mighty God. And if He is calling us to this, He will call us thru this.

That is what we hold on to - HIS truths.

A friend recently asked Scott the question of why 2? Why do we have to pick 2? Why not 1?

His reply?

1) One day I will have to meet the God of the Universe and He may remind me that he burdened my heart for the orphan, that he gave me 2, so why did I only choose 1?

2) If we do not say yes to Francis, there is a high probability that he will be an orphan forever and that would be tragic.

And 3) They are both so stinkin' cute.

While we are not so naive to think there will not be many obstacles along the way. With adoption, there are always risks. Even the biggest risk, my biggest fear of the ultimate what if. What if they never make it home to us?

Scott and I are united on this. 

We are going to fight for both Jojo and Francis.

We are in it to win it. 

No exceptions.

Please join us in prayer...our prayer is for The Lord to open the flood gates for BOTH of these adoptions. That He would provide as there is need. And He would receive ALL. THE. GLORY.

"For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him." ~1 Samuel 1:27