We had our home study visit by the social worker this past week. The interview went well. Routine questions, just like I recalled from the last time. Giving her copies of LOTS of paperwork. Oh, and of course the check for the fees. Now we wait for the "official" update in the mail and will be good to go. Well, for another 12 months, that is.
She asked about our wait and how we were handling it. Interesting, as we were asked this same question from a couple we hung out with this past Friday eve. Some people ask this question rather flippantly. As almost to ask because that is what one would ask. I don't like to give an honest answer typically as my words seem to get lost in the air between my mouth and their ears. So I keep it short and sweet and just say it's part of the process. The social worker and our friends this weekend asked in a much different tone. It was heart-felt. They truly wanted to know. They listened intently to what we had to share.
It was somewhat refreshing, I would have to say. So, how do we wait???
Scott is able to handle the wait a little easier due to the shear fact that we do not have a referral yet. While he doesn't understand why we wait, a referral would be so much more difficult to endure. To have a face of a child in a picture ... he admitted he would want to take control of the situation.
I guess I agree with that to a degree. But, a part of me DOES have a hard time enduring, even without a referral. I told our friends that I try to put it out of sight, out of mind. If I don't think about it, it doesn't bother me as much. But during this conversation, I began to realize that my pushing it to the back of my head wasn't for my good. IF God is who He says He is, then I should be able to give my pain to Him and He will set me free from this state of numbness (for lack of a better word) while we wait even longer for a referral.
Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. ~Psalm 27:14
I pull up this verse and am immediately drawn to the middle...be strong and let your heart take courage. Let MY HEART take courage. Courage isn't a word I would have used to explain what is needed to be in our position, our wait. Yet, it is.
So tonight I pray that the Lord would give me courage, knowing He placed this desire on our hearts, my heart, for a reason, for His glory. And while we cannot understand His timing, that He would give us strength knowing that it WILL be worth the wait...
