Ghana-bound #3

Thursday, April 14, 2016

After a LONG day of travel (approx. 24 hours), we (my friend, Kayci & I) arrive at the Accra airport at 8:10pm. Five checked bags (all right at weight limits of 50lbs, 2 carry on luggages and 2 backpacks)! To say we were bogged down with luggage would be an understatement!

 And this wasn't ALL of them...

One of our bags was a box full of knee replacements. Found the 'OTC' sign to give the prosthetics baggage away, then off to find Joe ...an African man in a sea of African men in the pitch dark outside of the airport parking lot. Thankfully I showed Kayci a pic of Joe on FB and she spotted his sweet face along with that receding hair line within minutes! It was a breath of fresh air to see a familiar face, a friend.

And in his soft spoken African accent when asked how things were, Joe replies, "life is hard, but it is good." A short drive and we are at the hotel. Go to check in and they ask us to switch to their sister hotel. Same price, but bigger bed and 2 breakfasts included. Deal! We re-pack the car *this isn't easy with all our bags) and drive the 10 minutes to check in again. The room wasn't anything special, but clean and it had air conditioning along with a decent shower, so all is well. We get situated and then crash. After a melatonin, that is. ;)

'Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.' -Jeremiah 32:17

All the verses referenced in this blog were sent to me by a friend back home while I was in Ghana. These reminders, these truths were exactly what I needed to hear each day as the burden and the weight of our current obstacle was almost too much to bare.

Friday, April 15, 2016

Alarm set at 8am to allow us some rest, but still early. Breakfast and then Patrick came to pick us up. Patrick is a driver/taxi in the Accra area. We had a package to give him from a friend back in the states & we needed a ride to the orphanage so it worked out well.

The orphanage, Beacon House, was a very short drive away. I had knots in my stomach. So anxious to see the boys! Their home had been preparing them for my visit. "Mommy is coming to visit soon," they would say. To which Francis asked if I was coming to take them home. Man, that broke my heart hearing that. "No, not this time. She's just coming to visit you and your brother." But, I now had confirmation that they actually "get it". They understand who we are and what we are doing. They realize that one day they will come home with us. And THAT, is comforting. 

I was worried about how the boys would respond to seeing me. Would they remember me? Would they be happy to see me? I prayed the Lord would prepare me, even if it hurt. We got to the orphanage, someone had to let us in the gated area. I wasn't sure where to go, but just walked towards the main building. Around the corner was Jojo and I stopped in my tracks. In the corner of my eye I see Francis. Upon us seeing one another face to face in over a year, they both came running & jumped on me. Oh...my cup runneth over.

We hugged for a long time. It was emotional. But in a good way.

We brought all the donations in. Then they showed me the home. We were able to talk to Romana shortly thereafter. She's the director of their home, Beacon House. She is someone that was instrumental in my adoption story long ago. Didn't know then how the Lord would ordain us to meet, but it is almost as if she knew it would happen. A brief convo we had on FaceBook Messenger almost 18 months prior (right after we found out about Francis & Jojo) & her final words were 'when you come to Ghana, we can meet & talk). I had NO idea what the future had in store for our journey, but here we were, together in Ghana just as she had stated. She shared some stories with me along with Vivian, the house "mama". While talking, Romana asked if I had appointment with the embassy. I was waiting to see if I had anything to give them, but she brought up a good point...to make the appointment anyway since I was in country. I borrowed her phone and made the appointment. Only able to set on Wed. or Fri. I was leaving Wed., and it WAS Friday when I called, so that would be the day. At 10am. Looking back, I am surprised I got through so quickly. That is NOT the norm!

Went downstairs to hang with the boys. Took them to Star Bites for lunch (a decent restuarant walking distance from the home). Jojo had a meltdown because we ordered one large meal for the boys to split, but waitress split it in front of them. Jojo did not like this and got very upset. Kayci switched her meal with his and he was all better after that (thank goodness). Since there was more food on her plate.

Back to BH, a lot of playing outside, swinging, more playing, more swinging. until it was time to go. We decided to have the boys continue to sleep in their "enviroment" to help with the transition of when I have to leave. As much as I desired for them to be with me, I knew this was best. Talked with Romana & Heather (another person who helps Romana at the home) for a while before leaving...they asked us to join them for dinner at The Venue which was right by our home. As much as I wanted to go to bed, I wanted the opporunity to talk with her more. The place was very nice. Conversation was even better. Pita bread and pizza. Why didn't I order a cold one??? Plenty of carbs though! Back to the hotel late, exhausted.

'Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.' -Joshua 1:9

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Alarm set a little earlier today, 7:45am. Breakfast then tried walking to the boy's home. Got turn around (aka: lost), so decided to call a taxi. Boys weren't ready so we had to rush to get out the door and get to doctor appointment by 10am. Mama Vivian got us a cab. He didn't know how to get to our destination. Asked multiple people on the side of the road. Finally got there, but not before getting a flat tire. We literally coasted in through the gates. Par for the course here...

Lights were out (go figure!), so we are now waiting for the generator to come on so they can finish printing the report. Asked multiple times if it was completed, mentioned that we had appointment at 10am. They said "but it's almost noon." To which I say, "yes, we've been waiting 2 hours!!!"

Over 2 hours pass and they finally give me the report and I have to ask to speak to doctor as they were just expecting me to leave. What did I have an appointment for in the first place??? 

By this time the boys were losing it. We had been there way too long. Who am I kidding? I was starting to lose it! The doctor's report isn't helpful. He stated he didn't have pertinent information and I leave devestated.

That same day, we were trying to meet up with Moses & Joe to visit. I call from the taxi because my phone only works with wifi. They said they would meet us at the mall, there is a kiddy playground behind it. We get dropped off, waited a while then finally took taxi back to orphanage. Call Joe again and find out they went to a different mall. UGH! They come and pick us up & we go to the kiddy playground at A&C mall in East Legon. The kids have a ball. You have to pay to play. No free playgrounds around these parts. Afterwards we go to Accra mall (very westernized), have dinner and decide to watch Kung Fu Panda 3. Kids have never been to the movies before so this should be a treat. Jojo crashes hard before the movie even starts. At least Francis enjoyed it. ;)

 Moses with Francis ~ Jojo with Joe

Both boys fall asleep on the ride back. We take them home and lie them down. Joe takes us back to hotel and we say goodbye to both. Always love seeing those guys.

'You shall not fear them, for it is the LORD your God who fights for you.' -Deuteronomy 3:22

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Alarm set by 7:30am. Notice a trend here? A little earlier each day. ;)

We were meeting up with Alicia and her son today. Alicia is a friend I met a couple months back. She is also adopting from Ghana and just so happens to be in the EXACT same spot/stage as we are currently. The day we actually met was the day we BOTH received emails from USCIS requesting the Minister's Letter. While you don't wish what you are going through on anyone, there is some comfort to know you are not alone.

She came to Ghana to try to set up some meetings and do anything she could to help push her case along. Since we were going to be in Ghana at the same time, we decided to meet up. Let the boys meet on "their turf" before meeting again when we are back in the states.

Alicia's driver is here so we take the taxi to get they boys from their home. Get them ready, come back & eat breakfast and then off to The Vineyard Church. Alicia's church in St. Louis is an international church with churches all around the world. A drive by the beach and there is the church. It was awesome to experience church in another country. One pastor would speak in their tribal language while another would translate in English. Tongues at its finest!

Francis has a very hard time while at church. I don't know why. Out of his norm? Something scared him? I just don't know and I hate it. AlI I can do is hold him and tell him over and over again that I love him and that he is ok. Jojo is struggling to stay still. After good while, both boys pass out on us. Kayci & I hold them and are able to enjoy the rest of the sermon. Thankfully, African church is long. ;)

After service, we walk thru some shops for a few things and a wrap to carry the boys because we desperately need it. And truth be told, the boys needed it too. Wrapping children on women's backs is custom here. The chidlren feel safe and it is way easier for the moms to get around. Was going to go to lunch, but boys started having a hard time in taxi ride home so we opted to go back to hotel and chill. Hung there for a while and then walked back to BH with boys wrapped on us. We got a lot of laughs and even some locals stopped to take pictures of us!

Called Alicia and she met us at Stat Bites for dinner. We managed, let's just keep it at that. Took boys back as it was getting late. Some late night ice cream and some more intense adoption talks before heading back to the hotel.

 

Days are long. It's hot. You sweat like you have never sweat before. And you get to carry little ones around all day while sweating. There's a stickiness that you feel on your body from the crazy, hot heat. While you know you will just go thru it all again tomorrow, you cannot get past the need to take a shower every single night just to rest well. And be thankful for running water when so many here do not have that. Even our son's home...

'The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will.' -Proverbs 21:1

Monday, April 18, 2016

Took our walk to BH this morning. Hugs and kisses to the boys, then upstairs to the office to meet Romana & Bernard, our POA. Time to discuss next steps. It was good to see Bernard. Unfortunately, there isn't too much to strategize on as cannot seem to get anywhere with Social Welfare and the letter from the Minister, but we will continue to try...

Went swimming with the boys at a local hotel. Only for a few hours, but it was enough for that blazing, African sun to burn both me & Kayci. We wrap the boys and opt to walk back to the hotel. Why? Because we are obviously crazy. The sun hit the boys hard too as it takes only minutes for both Francis and Jojo to be fast asleep on our backs on the walk back to the hotel.

The feel of his cheek against my skin that is exposed on my back from the tank I am wearing. It is hot and the sun blares directly down on us. My skin is already red and I can feel it begin to burn. But the softness of his skin on my skin, cools my heart in a way that is needed from the heat I am feeling. My clothes that were wet from the pool now change to wetness from the sweat on the long walk back. My son is on my back. I am wearing him like all African mamas wear their children...wrapped on their backs with a piece of cloth. That is it. The roads are dirty. There is trash anywhere you look. A ditch that runs along all streets that contains the waste from human bodies; their only way of a sewer system. The smell is not pleasant. And the walk, not easy. But TIA (This Is Africa). And this is the way it is for everyone here. Nothing is easy. Neither is this walk. But my son's flesh touches mine. Not flesh of my flesh, but mine all the same. And I am overwhelmed with gratefulness to be able to be his mommy now.

We get back to hotel and the air conditioning feels amazing. Lay the boys down on the one bed we share in our hotel room as they continue to sleep for an hour or more. Kayci and I both doze off a little with them. The good thing about having an extremely hard bed is that when you move, the bed never moves too...so no fear of waking anyone up! When they finally wake, I read to them "The Invisible String" and they eat cashews. They love those cashews! Then we walk to The Venue for dinner and back to BH. We change the boys into pj's and they begin to watch Zorro with all the others, that is after evening prayer time which the children do nightly. "See you tomorrow mommy?" "Yep, you sure will." Knowing this makes it easy for them to say goodbye. A few kisses and hugs and Kayci & I decide to go back to The Venue for a drink...something cold in all this hotness! A nice unwind to a long day. Had the opportunity to meet a few other travelers from various parts of the world. UK, Brussels and of course, Ghana.

'So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.' -Isaiah 41:10

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Waited to hear from Bernard. Today is the day we were hopeful to have a meeting with Social Welfare. The Minister, to be exact. I messaged multiple friends/family from back home...SO many are joining us in prayer. We are so grateful by it all and so desperately need it.

Unable to get an appointment & I tell Bernard that I still need to go because I will always wonder "what if", what would have happened. Kayci & I walk, exchange money, hit our "regular" side of the road make shift market for our large water for 2 GHc and continue the path to BH.

The boys are excited to see us, me. "We want to go" is what they say over & over, but today we wait to get picked up by Bernard's asstant to go to the Minister's office. It allows us time to just "be" with the boys in "their" environment as well as with the other children. We chat, we color, the boys color pictures for Dada back home...it warms my heart they want to do something like that. Assistant comes and it's time to leave, Francis holds me tight. I try to explain that I will be back. He gets that face and it hurts me inside, but I have to leave. I have to try. And as I walk away, the cry starts. I hear it in the background & it gets louder. It's Francis...

Drive 45 minutes or so without air to the Ministry of Gender. Walk up the stairs and through a dark hall way. We arrive and the secretary won't let us see the Minister. I see the Minister's door right there in front of me and so just want to open it. We are directed to go down hall to speak to the Chief Director. The secretaries there give us a bunch of nonsense and now we are being directed to Social Welfare. We have to drive there. Room 18 where Earnest is, the assistant to Emily, Director of Social Welfare. He sits back in his chair, talking more nonsense and says we need to get an extension to our "Request For Evidence" (RFE). I tell him we cannot. There are no extensions. That part is clearly written on the letter I received. He said the report is completed, but Emily must sign and give to the Minister for review and then she decides whether or not to sign the clearance letter. He directs us back to Chief Director's office where we just came from to ask for assistance in getting an extension from the Embassy.

We go back and the secretary asks why isn't Earnest with us? They call him to accompany us as the Director won't see us without him. We wait, again and once Earnest gets there, we go inside. The Chief Director motions for us to sit around a conference table and then states that this is completely out of his department and he cannot help in any way. Says social welfare is the one to do so, they handle all adoption cases. So I turn and ask Earnest if he can write letter and he says NO. Really??? I back my chair from the table and start to get up from the conference table. I cannot hear him say one more time he cannot help. In my mind, I am wondering why in the world are we even here? Why did he make us wait all that time just to tell us he can do nothing? I feel my insides boiling. I reluctantly thank him for his time and ask for our letter back. He holds it out and I grab the letter as I turn to get my things. The Chief Director says "you don't have to snatch it from my hands" and I just walk out because I began to lose it...I hold my breath long enough to make it the 8 or so steps to the hallway and then I cannot keep my emotions in any longer.

No one is able to help. It's an absurd process. And come to find out, the Chief Director said the Minister is out of the country!!! What?!?! Her secretary could have mentioned that, but oh no. Everyone. Every single person here wants to show they have authority, they have power. And NO ONE is willing to actually do anything!

That was half a day I will never get back!

Evidently Emily, the Director of Social Welfare, will be back late tomorrow. Earnest said he will have her forward report to the Minister. Romana seems to think Minister is here and Chief Director didn't know what he was saying. Honestly, I don't think anyone does!

I go tomorrow at 10am to the U.S. Embassy to fight one last time. If I do not get through to them, I was told I will be given a 30 letter of intent to deny. So that could possibly buy us some time? It's my only hope for a back up plan at this point.

Truth is, the Director of Social Welfare knew we were on a time issue of being denied. She left the city 2 weeks ago and it is obvious no one cares...and that was my day.

And while the day did not go the way I had hoped, the prayers being lifted on our behalf are sustaining me. They are allowing me to continue to push forward, to be 'present' with my sons. One friend messaged me letting me know many are fasting and will be setting their alarms to wake up at 5am their time to pray over my meeting at 10am Ghana time. I'm overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and text Scott saying how blessed we are by our beautiful community of friends. Who truly are more like family, than just friends.

Back at Beacon House and we decide to take a few out for dinner. Mifia, Kofi and Benjamin (Jojo's house father). Each of the little children have either a house mother or father to help look after them. It's sweet and necessary and a little sad all the same..as they are only kids themselves. But this is the culture here. I tell the children that tomorrow is my birthday. They all yell and with huge smiles on their faces say we should celebrate HERE! And you know what? I couldn't agree more.

Came back and ended up talking to Romana for a while. Francis was crying downstairs...probably because he isn't allowed upstairs as that's the girls area. By the time I came down, both boys were fast asleep. Made me a little sad, but I picked up Francis and just held him for some time. Then Kayci and I took them to their rooms to to get them ready for bed. Changed them into pajamas...neither woke up. Kissed them good night and off we went back to hotel.

'Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.' -Psalm 37:3-9

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Up early to eat breakfast and Patrick (driver) to pick us up. A quick stop at BH to drop off our bags since we had to check out of the hotel and a few smooches for the boys, then off to the US Embassy.

The Embassy was interesting. After a lot of traffic and fear we would be late and not get in, we made it! Thank goodness. Several security stations to go thru until they finally said I could go in, but Kayci had to wait outside. Very hot! So many people there and I stand, waiting my turn. The sign is labeled interview room. Finally, my turn and I walk inside a very plain, cold room where where a woman, Aster, stands behind behind a window. She's Ghanaian and looks like she could be a grandma. I open my manilla folder of papers and start to show her my RFE's and explain why I am there. Before I could say a full sentence, I literally lost it. I showed her the RFE's and start defending my case through the countless tears. I explaine that we have tried numerous times to contact the Minister for the clearance letter. Asked what am I suppose to do if a letter is required, yet it is impossible to truly obtain it? She was visably shaken up by my sadness. Apologized many times. Said they are aware of all the issues going on and are currently in the proces of discussing next steps and hope to have resolution by the end of this week. Said she isn't telling others that, but wanted me to know. Asked how long I was here, told her I was leaving tonight. Asked me for a number to call me today should she hear anything. Showed her pics, she asked to copy them. Shared with her what's going on with Francis and she seemed to care. First person yet. Said not to worry about the deadline, that I had her word she would NOT close our case. Sh left to copy the pictures and came back with water, tissues and mints to give me. I thanked her for her time and left. I called her as soon as I got to Beacon House because I needed to give her Romana's # and I didn't have it on me since phones are not allowed. She answered. I also gave her my cell phone number to call after today when I leave Ghana. While it isn't a passing yet, I truly feel hopeful...for the first time since receiving this notice months ago.

We took a taxi hailed by the local police who also helped us negotiate the rate and back to BH. The boys were excited to see I returned. Kayci & I hung out for quite some time with the kids. I read The Invisible String to all of them. Made the boys practice holding their "invisible strong" with their fingers. It is so adorable.

Decided to take Benjamin, Maxwell, big Francis and our boys for a walk. Ice cream (aka: gelato) @ Pinnochios and then we walk with not knowing what we were going to do. Stop to get water in plastic bags...only 20 pesos each. Walk thru the air conditioned mall, which the boys love ...because its "cold" in there. Then decide to go back to the playground. 10 cedis per child for 1 hour. The boys play hard. It's the older boys FIRST time at a playground! Their ages are 10, 12 & 13. CanNOT even imagine.

Tiring walk back to BH, buy another water because all of us need it and we stay at the home for the remainder of our day. Thought about going out for dinner, but we realize it's best not to go back out right before we have to leave. For the boys sake.

The boys come into the office to have some alone time with me. Kayci & I pack our bags for the flights. I try to remind the boys multiple times throughout the day that I have to leave today. When an airplane flies overhead I explain mommy has to go on this tonight. I assure them I will be back. "Tomorrow?" They ask. Because all week when I say I must leave that evening, I say "yes, tomorrow". And they smile and it is all OK when I leave. But tonight is not the same. Tonight is very different. I do not try to fool them, they see the bags. I tell them not tomorrow, but soon. Soon, mommy will be back to take you with me on the airplane.

Night is coming and somehow 6:30pm comes all too quickly. We've been able to chat with Romana a bit before leaving. Kayci has many questions on adoption. It's awesome to see her heart and the Lord growing a compassion there. Something He began in her some time ago, but manifesting even deeper now.

I take some pictures to capture more of Beacon House. The outside water...as there isn't running water inside. This is where they wash the dishes, cook meals, clean clothes...you name it. A very labor intensive way to live, yet the only way there is to live here. 

We walk to the gate. All homes are gated for security purposes. Our driver, Joe isn't there so we call him. Confusion in communication, unfortunately and he was driving back home as he went to hotel and we weren't there. He didn't get message to pick us up from BH. So Romana tells Kayci to get a taxi from Star bites (the restuarant around the corner).

While she was gone, which was only a few minutes, I sat down holding Francis and his foot accidentally hit Jojo in the face. He begins to cry, hard. So I put Francis down to console Jojo. Then Francis starts to get upset. NOT what you want to happen minutes before leaving. I pick up Francis and he calms down, but Jojo is mad. Then the taxi comes. I tell the boys I'm just putting my bags out and will be back to say goodbye. It doesn't matter what I say. They know what is happening and the tears begin to fall for both of them. Harder and harder. I pick them up and kiss them and hug them. I tell them I am coming back for them. "Mommy is going to come back for you". I'm crying too as it's impossible to keep it together. But nothing I say matters. Their cries turn into screams. And I literally have to peel them off of me and leave them sitting there on the ground, in the dark, screaming & crying for me to take them with me.

I knew it would be hard. Have been thinking and praying over that since before I even left to come to Ghana. But man. Nothing can prepare you for that. It was gut wrenching. Absolutely gut wrenching.

My heart is once again broken. Broken by all this. The tragedy in adoption. The heartache. Over and over again.

The taxi to the airport was somber. No words spoken. I stare out the window and think of them back there still crying...

Devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries that I read today...the day I had to leave Ghana again - without my sons...Today’s key verse states it perfectly: “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken” (Psalm 62:5-6).When we carve out time to rest in God — taking a physical break and filling up our spirits — we gain hope and acquire strength to face the challenges of life. When God is our fortress, nothing can shake us.

I take a sleeping pill and crash from Accra to Amsterdam. Let's just be honest, I didn't want to think about anything. I didn't want to feel anything. Just for a few hours. I was exhausted. Emotionally. Physically. And mentally. I could handle no more. Nothing more.

Woke up as we were getting ready to land in Amsterdam. We purposefully made an 8 hour layover. Kayci wanted to see the sights. I had been there before, but that was 20 years ago, so I was open to going again. We took the train to Central Station. Anne Frank house. Beautiful canals. A long walk around the city. Coffee & croissants and then time to head back for our flight. I enjoyed the time with Kayci, but inside my heart is still breaking. I have my moments in the restroom or on the plane, but try to keep it together. I knew my trip would more than likely end with me not bringing them home, but there was a small part in me that was hopeful I could extend my trip and bring them back next week. That, will not happen. Now, I am once again at the mercy of the US Embassy and the Ghanaian social welfare department. Both of which have not shown they will assure me of bringing my sons home. Yet, I have no choice. The decision rests upon them and them alone.

I sit on the long flight home from Amsterdam to the US re-playing leaving my sons over and over again in my head.  A couple glasses of wine, some more tears and a few ibuprofen and I think I need to close my eyes and hope to sleep a little longer...

Back home...

Have had a few days to try to re-acclimate myself back to "normlacy" here. It took a few days to get over the time change and jet lag. Feeling a little depleted physically, but I am sure it is a combination of all that has transpired over the last couple weeks. One emotional roller coaster!

The past Friday, Madame Aster from the US Embassy called me at 6am to inform us that the RFE (Request for Evidence) of the Minister's Letter was being retracted. I think it took me the entire day to digest that piece of information. Our adoptions were moving forward. This MASSIVE road block was finally removed. The Lord heard the prayers of mercy from many, he softened hearts and is making a way for our sons and many other orphans to finally come home to their forever families!

I canNOT say enough thanks for this woman! She came with me on this trip becuase she knew I needed support. She was right. I didn't know how much I would need her until we were actually 'in the thick' of it all. She was a second mama to my sons, a loving new mama to the many orphans at Beacon House, a listening ear, or just able to sit beside you when no words could be spoken at all, someone to pray with or pray over me, listened to my late night rants (or maybe it was the other way around?) ;) ...but overall was the right hand (wo)man that I needed more than I even knew....eternally grateful.

And since I have been back, a wave of emotions can hit me out of no where. Today, I found myself overwhelmed by emotion thinking of Mifia, Kofi, Benjamin and the other orphans at Beacon House. The orphans that are destined to be orphans forever. For all the kids I met at GMI where Francis was originally or CHOH, Jojo's first home. I thought of Jeff, Jojo's first BFF. Patience, that was so close to Gifty while they were together at CHOH. Countless numbers of orphans. THIS is NOT what God designed. And the truth is, these children desire a mommy and a daddy, to be in a family like ALL of us. That is what I believe. But the reality is we live in a fallen world with so much brokenness. And thru my weeping this afternoon, I am burdened once again for all the orphans out there. The brokenness that is so heavy on my heart is almost too much to bare. "Orphan Forever" are words no child should be labeled.

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." -John 14:18