Just the other day I decided to take a jog outside because it just so happened to be a beautiful, sun shiny, warmer-weathered day in the 'Lou in January!!! So, I had to take advantage of the moment.
Running for me is in many ways therapeutic. I am not the fastest runner on the block and I don't try to be. I just run. Or jog. Whatever you want to call it.
There is just something about being outside. The air. The smells. The wind against my face. The way my feet get in rhythm while hitting the pavement. It puts me in a good place. At least for a short while.
I sometimes pray during my runs.
I sometimes drift off into 'la-la' land.
Either way, my mind clears a space to just BE...
And sometimes, we need just that.
To. Just. Be.
This run came shortly after we got a "not so great" request for evidence from the Embassy. They are asking us to provide a specific letter from the Director of Social Welfare. A letter that should not be required of us due to our adoption being grandfathered in before the ban. But nonetheless, we do not have a choice but to provide it now. It is beauracracy at its finest and it doesn't settle well in my gut. You see, this is no easy feat to obtain. Two regions for our two sons. It is an uphill battle at this point with a lot of chaos going on with adoptions as a whole in Ghana.
And because of it all, we wait even longer.
...back to my run...
A lot of thoughts swirling through my mind during this run.
Why, O Lord, do you stand far away?
Later, I would read that exact same verse in Psalm 10:1.
Why do we continue to have SO many set backs?
My mind wanders.
And I am reminded of a recent devotional from Rick Warren: The Unseen Battle Over Your Prayers.
'The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:12, “We are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age” (TEV).
When you send up a prayer, there’s often a battle over how it’s going to be answered. While you’re in the waiting room, Satan starts throwing darts at you — the dart of doubt, the dart of discouragement, the dart of disappointment, the dart of delay, the dart of depression. The Bible says to be aware that he’s going to try to get you down.
The truth is, the Bible doesn’t tell us much about the spiritual warfare that’s going on behind your prayers. But we do get a glimpse of it in the book of Daniel.
Daniel had a vision of an angel, who said, “Daniel, don’t be afraid. God has heard your prayers ever since the first day you decided to humble yourself in order to gain understanding. I have come in answer to your prayer. The [evil] angel prince of the kingdom of Persia opposed me for twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief angels, came to help me, because I had been left there alone in Persia” (Daniel 10:12-13).
Are those the wildest verses you’ve ever seen? It says that Daniel had a prayer that wasn’t answered for a while, and he was starting to get discouraged. The angel showed up and said, “I’m here to give you the answer. We heard it from day one, but we’ve been in a battle over this, and it was such an intense battle that Michael the archangel had to come down and help me with this battle so I could come and tell you that the answer is on its way.”
Are those the wildest verses you’ve ever seen? It says that Daniel had a prayer that wasn’t answered for a while, and he was starting to get discouraged. The angel showed up and said, “I’m here to give you the answer. We heard it from day one, but we’ve been in a battle over this, and it was such an intense battle that Michael the archangel had to come down and help me with this battle so I could come and tell you that the answer is on its way.”
Spiritual Warfare.
We are getting so clse, but evil forces are getting in our way.
I yell to God in my run...
We are getting so clse, but evil forces are getting in our way.
I yell to God in my run...
"You are able to do far more abundantly than all that I ask or think according to your Word!"
"You brought us down this road, now show up and get us to the other side!"
"You are far more powerful than any other force, so make this happen God, make it happen!"
And I fall.
I fell.
Just like that.
What runner does that?
Not one paying attention, that's for sure.
And as a runner, you know better.
You know to look ahead at what is coming toward you.
You know to watch out for uneven pavement, items that might be in your path.
To go around, go over.
Whatever you have to do to finish the race.
Because bumps in the road don't make you stop.
Sure, they might slow you down, but a TRUE runner, never gives up before the race is finished.
So...
I get up and dust myself off as I return running within seconds.
Did it hurt? Of course.
But doesn't most things in life worth fighting for hurt???
I return home and read my daily Psalm...the one I mentioned above.
It starts off asking the Lord where is he in times of trouble?
It ends with this...in Psalm 10:17-18
'O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.'
He hears me.
He will do justice to the fatherless!
He hears me.
He will do justice to the fatherless!
And while this obstacle we face is not welcomed, we will push through, we will pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and continue to fight until our sons are home with us, where they belong.
Hebrews 12:1 is on the back of one of my running shirts and could not be more significant to my personal struggle right now...
'Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
I'm still running the race.
I'm not stopping 'til I cross that finish line.
And have Fancis and Jojo beside me...
