Yes, I can honestly say God predestined me from the beginning. Ultimately, He predestined me & Scott---but both in very different ways and times in our lives. You see, I cannot recall a time in my life that I didn’t have a heart for children without parents, orphans. I never really used that word in the past, orphan, but that is the true meaning. The correct terminology to use, as Wikipedia puts it: permanently bereaved of or abandoned by his or her parents: Orphan-definition.
I can recall short conversations I would have with my husband, Scott about adoption. Adoption was a topic relatively well known to him. He worked in the Social Services field and was aware of the many “not so positive outcomes/consequences” that can come from adopting a child. He witnessed it first hand, he counseled those children and parents. It was challenging for him, but now, looking back, I can see where God was tugging on his heart in that realm. In a very different aspect, but nonetheless, molding his heart for what was to come.
Scott grew fascinated with RAD, otherwise known as Reactive Attachment Disorder, during his schooling for completing his Masters in Counseling: RAD. It was there that he also found the teachings of Bryan Post, child behavior expert: Post-Institute.
Little did Scott know at that time how the information he was studying would be used in a very personal way.
I am ‘that’ person that stayed home to ensure I watched “A Home for the Holidays” special on adoption: A-Home-For-The-Holidays. It tugged at my heart. I couldn’t help but watch and sob. I wanted to adopt all of them. They deserved to have a family, a mom and a dad. Scott would watch me and I don’t think really understood the weight it carried inside of me. I treaded lightly with him. I knew this would have to be a mutual decision. I knew this would have to be an area that God would have to move us, well, especially Scott.
We have two biological children. Adeline, born April 10, 2009. And Graham, born June 23, 2011. That was the turning point for Scott. He didn’t know it then, neither one of us did, but Graham was definitely the turning point. Our precious baby boy was born with Down syndrome: Facts_on_DS. Life as we knew it changed in an instant. Something that once was so foreign to us, was now so very close to our hearts. Was now, something that would forever be a part of us. God reminded us that this life is a journey - one that I am NOT in total control of all the outcomes. But there is joy in knowing that He is. God is showing us how to live life being happy in the moment...in the 'today' that we have together. And today, each and every day, I try to hold tight to that. I know I fall short often times, but I try to constantly remind myself. It was through Graham’s life, that Scott’s eyes were opened. Not only his eyes, but also his heart…..to adoption. He found the verse James 1:27 and could NOT get it out of his mind. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world”. James1:27 Upon reading that verse, he became aware of how little we do for the orphans. That we are failing in our current state. God is direct in this verse. There isn’t any grey here, we ARE called to look after the orphan! I thank Jesus for putting this verse, this desire on my husband’s heart. For it was through a trial that our family was able to become stronger, unite and push ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and do what our God has called us to do. But not just because we are called, because it is now the desire of our hearts.
Mark Shultz’s words on his song about adoption: Lyrics
As he was also adopted: Video
“Oh you gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams”
I do not recall there being an actual day that this discussion on adoption turned a corner.
It. Just. Did.
A rough timeline of sorts:
January 29, 2012
This Sunday (like most), we were in Lot Family (aka: small group at church) and my husband, to my surprise, decided to share with everyone what God had placed on our hearts. He knew this was going to be a long journey, that we could not do it alone. And although we were in prayer, we would need the support of others to journey with us, to lift us up, to pray as well.
What a glorious day that was –we had no idea what was about to happen. We were going to be encouraged and lifted up, we were going to find instant support and love. Our friend, Nicole, shared with us her excitement and offered to be a personal resource, to help where ever she could. And wow did she do just that! She was able to get us in contact with two couples that recently adopted. Those new voices shared much valuable information to me and played a key part in our search for an adoption agency. Nicole also informed us of Loving Shepherd.
February 7, 2012
Received first of several emails from Jen @ Loving Shepherd. Loving-Shepherd
What a resource they have been in our search for the right fit for our family. We were able to get specific information/requirements from various countries we were considering in adoption, information on many adoption agencies as well as questions to ask during our interviews with the agencies and social workers for a home study. All valuable information! They are not an adoption agency, they just help those seeking adoption, they are the voices for the orphans. Here is their vision: We have been called to care for the orphan. Orphans are not orphans because they lack food, clean water, or clothes. They are orphans because they lack a family. Our prayer and mission is to place these orphaned children in a loving family. We want to raise them to be godly leaders in their communities - and child by child, bring about effective change for the glory of God.
February 22, 2012
I emailed Scott one question and one video:
This was his response:
“its go time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Finding the place was not as difficult as you might think. There are many options, but only one area we were leaning towards and that was Africa. That area in particular has always had a special place in my heart, I have always been drawn there when thinking/praying about adoption in the past. Scott also started to lean that way when his social services skills peaked during our discussions. We heard a lot of positive feedback on adoptions from Ethiopia and immediately thought that might be the best route for us. But God had other plans for us. Little did we know that God had another area in mind for us. To back track just a bit here…
During a typical day at work for Scott, he went to an office for an appointment. A place he had been many times prior. But this time, God opened his eyes in a new way. The sign outside the office mentioned adoption. Adoption? He saw that sign many, many times in the past and never once noticed that part. After he walked into the office, he noticed a picture on the wall. A picture of a group of children. After a short conversation, he quickly learned the children were from Ghana. And there it was…just like that…Ghana.
Something I had wanted to do for years was sponsor a child. You guessed it, yes, from Africa. Where? I didn’t really know and honestly the area wasn’t as a concern for me, I just felt in my heart it would be a child from Africa. Um, yes, I did say ‘years’. Why did I wait so long? Your guess is as good as mine and truth be told, I don’t have a good reason. But, I finally got off my booty and made that happen this past January. We sponsored, Abdul. A precious little boy from… Ghana! Coincidence? I think not. It’s wonderful to get updates as we not only learn a little about Abdul and the country HE lives in, but also learn a little more about the country OUR future child lives in! Amazing to see God at work among us and we were so clueless! We pray that this may lead to us being able to meet Abdul one day too.
Back to the agency search - we were both doing research. I crossed reference referrals from contacts and Loving Shepherd and was able to narrow it down to 3 agencies. Once I found out the first agency had put a hold on their adoptions, I quickly looked for another. Scott and I spent a great deal of time in interviews with all agencies. All conversations were good, thorough, helpful and eye opening.
April 2, 2012
I emailed our contact at AAI, Anita:
“Just wanted to let you know that I just completed the application online a few minutes ago. After a lot of prayer and discerning, Scott and I really felt so at ease after our conversation with you the other day. We were hoping (and praying) that God would guide us to the right agency and we truly think it is AAI. We understand this is a process - we look forward to hearing from you and discussing next steps.”
YES! We completed a VERY BIG milestone – we picked our agency!!!
We completed the initial application and $300 fee and made it official!
April 17, 2012
Received the Adoption Contract paperwork along with adoption training to complete. Many of the documents were easy to complete: copies of birth certificates, copies of passports, completion and signing of necessary paperwork including some requiring notarization. It was the training that was quite time consuming. Although time consuming, I was very thankful we were required to complete more than one training program. Each gave perspective on the adoption process. Just because we are opting to adopt by no means insinuates that we have it all figured out. Quite contrary and we very much welcome the additional resources and education to help prepare us for the future.
May 5, 2012
Cinco de Mayo, we had Steve & Nicole (& fam) over for dinner. It was Adoption Discussion Go Time! Nicole, paper and pen in hand, spatting off different ideas she had in mind. I was floored to the degree that she had put into this…for us! The four of us brain stormed on some options and in the end, Nicole emailed us with a short list of to do’s to get started.
Casting Crowns, “So Far to Find You”:
May 17, 2012
Completed Bryan Post DVD’s on adoption training. One more item to check off the list. Yep, I am a list maker and happy to check those items off the list too! J
May 23, 2012
After some thought and consideration on who we should ask to be a part of our adoption task force, I sent the following email to a small group consisting of family and close friends:
James 1:27
”Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”
You are receiving this email because you are SPECIAL! Yes, you are very special to me, to Scott, to our family.
As many of you know, Scott and I are praying our family will be growing in the future…through adoption. This isn’t totally public knowledge, but we are slowly spreading the word. After many months of praying, discerning, we both felt God saying it was time to move forward. So, move forward we did. And the research began. So much to research and we really had no idea where to even begin.
It’s amazing how God can put people in your lives at the EXACT time you need them and He did just that. We shared our news with our small group at church and immediately had the support of our friends, Nicole & Steve. More than just support, it was the excitement Nicole had for us after hearing what God has put adoption on our hearts. Encouragement was just what we needed at that time, knowing they wanted to walk arm and arm with us was the cherry on top; and honestly, leaves me speechless.
Scott did research and I reached out to others who had adopted. Mind you, I knew NO ONE. So, it was only by God’s divine ways that we were quickly introduced to several couples who had recently adopted. A wealth of information that we needed was given to us! We narrowed our search to 3 agencies we were considering; one was immediately out of the question because their adoptions in Africa were put on hold, so I added one more to the list. Thank goodness I did – yet, another God moment, in my eyes, because after having lengthy interviews (over the phone since all are out of state), we chose that agency. It is AAI – Adoption Advocates International. We will be adopting from Ghana ! At present, we have completed the application/application fee and are now in the next phase which is the adoption contract/1st adoption fee/adoption training courses - after we will move to the homestudy/homestudy fee and various other phases. We are thankful they come in phases and it is a "process". Similar to being pregnant for 9 months which allows you to prepare - this too, gives time for preparation (which is a good thing).
John 14:18
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”
So, you ask, why are you receiving this email? That’s a valid question – it’s not just to share with you the good news going on right now, but to also ask something from you. We need help – we need your help! We know that we cannot do this alone. We know that we need God first and the help & support of our family and friends.
Friends, we do not have all the funds in our savings account to complete this adoption. Money is not what I am asking for in this email, let me say that now. What we are asking for is your support.
1) Your prayers are most important, for God to provide, for God to equip us, for God to be showing love to the child who may already be alive in Ghana right now as I type this and be preparing their heart for this big transition as well.
2) Your resources are also important. You may know someone that might be helpful for something we do in the future.
3) Your time may be asked of to help in an event or to post something on FB for us to spread the word.
4) Your talents may be asked of to also help in various ways.
This is all completely voluntary. Nothing will ever be expected – only asked. Nicole has already been brain storming over different ideas we could do to not only spread the word of the importance of adoption, but to also help us get closer to our goals in fund raising. So, we would ask each of you to prayerfully commit to being a part of the Snodgrass Adoption Task Force.
Ephesians 1:5
”he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.”
If you could email me back a response ASAP – that would be great. Next, I will send a letter showing some of things we are thinking about and would like to get your feedback on those things as well!
Love you all!
~ Scott , Georgia , Adeline, Graham & the “MINUS 1” orphan we have yet to bring home…
May 24, 2012
Scott and I put on our calendars to start the second set of online training for the completion of our adoption contract. Our schedules are busy, I cannot lie. We both work full time, two little ones at home, sometimes Scott works late, volunteering for a local non-profit organization that helps those in need in our community, meeting with young couples for pre-marital counseling as well as all the other day to day distractions that can get in the way. Yes, life is crazy at times. All good things. Actually, all great things. But…it can make for a busy calendar. So we pencil our adoption training dates into the calendar like any normal person would do, right? LOL…ok, I am a bit Type A. ;-) Well, on this particular night, things didn’t end up so great. I had put a mental note to myself to complete this part of the process in May. We were close, at least I thought we were close. Then I found out the second part of the training could be 8-18 hours long. Say whaaaa??? Ok, ok, we can do this. Or maybe we can’t as quickly as I originally thought. This night for sure not – I left the material log in information at work. This was something I did strategically to ensure I didn’t forget to bring the paperwork to work since the following day my co-worker was going to notarize our documents for us. My mistake – a little too much on my brain maybe? It may not sound like that big of a deal, but, I cried. It just got to me. A night in our schedules that was open and I blew it. Scott hugged me and prayed. Tomorrow is a new day…
June 2012
A whirlwind of sorts…
Step up for Down syndrome – our 1st “official” event to celebrate the lives & abilities of people with DS. Our son, Graham.
Family vacation! 1st family vaca as a family of 4, that is.
Graham’s 1st birthday – time to celebrate our baby boy!
Trying to complete the adoption training online – finding it hard to find TIME!!!
And then…
Sometimes life takes a turn that you least expect. June would be one of those turns in our lives. Our little guy, Graham, was diagnosed with IS (infantile spasms). The summer, well, to put it bluntly was not fun. A ton of various doctor appointments. There were many moments of frustration, of being scared, of ultimately having to completely put our trust in our Lord as “it” was out of our control. I am sitting here right now with tears of joy in my eyes and a continuous tug on my heart. The peace that comes when you just trust the Lord to do His will, to give you grace for the day. And He did just that. His promises are true. His mercies are new every day.
September 2012
September is a NEW month. After our medical hiatus, we are now back in action. God blessed us with a great outcome & now it is time to move forward again. Funny how life throws you curve balls, but one must deal with the punches. I have heard of the ups & downs of the process with adoption. The many trials, road blocks, etc. that can come up. For us, our summer was one of those trials. Another way of our God preparing us for what lies ahead. Only making us stronger. More patient. And keeping our focus on Him.
I reached out to Anita @ AAI and she assured me that all was “A-OK”. The documents we signed & notarized back in May (my how time flies) would be ok to send in now – they would not be out-dated. I verified address information, prepared our packet, transferred funds and so it begins. So, it “really” begins.
